Kevin Ponders

The Curse of Hearing the Bad News First

Kevin pondered on a phrase he had heard many times at Churches, youth groups, missions, beach services, bible studies and just about everywhere where anybody thought they were sharing the gospel. Kevin pondered that the phrase in question was nothing to do with the Gospel. Indeed he pondered that it was an antithesis of the Gospel. Almost antichrist. But it usually emanated out of the mouths of those who had already identified the AntiChrist!!!!!

The phrase was "You’ve got to hear the bad news first." Kevin didn’t even stop to ponder why that might be the case. His pondering was way further down the road. He pondered if there could be anything worse in the entire cosmos than hearing the bad news first. He didn’t mean like hearing Manchester City’s result before United’s on a Saturday. Oh no. Indeed in news scenarios like that who cared what came first? Sadly most weeks, nothing would change Manchester City’s results.

In the context where Kevin pondered, people’s lives would be significantly different by simple changing the order of how they heard the news. Kevin was pondering on the love of God. It seemed from what he had heard unless you were told a wide range of horrible things about yourself, you would never be able to appreciate that love. It was vital in understanding the love that you were told how ugly and wormlike and unworthy your existence was. It was important to highlight by a long list of guilt ridden activities how bad and evil and worthless you were. Then and only then could you be told that you are the beloved!

Kevin pondered on how that would work on his relationship with his daughter. Maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to share the good news of his love for her. Maybe he should get up in the morning go over to her cot and lambaste her with what a worthless wee toe rag she was and how she had nothing to commend her to anyone on planet earth never mind or especially her parents and how blessed she was that she was allowed to live underneath their roof. Maybe after a ten minute hurling of bad news he could get round to kissing her on the cheek, telling her that in spite of that daily ritual of a tirade he loved her - before heading out to work. Kevin pondered on how secure and well balanced his daughter would be if he did what most preachers do with God’s love. Surely he should get sent to jail for a very long and just sentence for child abuse.

In the disciplining of his children Kevin was aware that actually the only way that he could give his daughter a very strong word of rebuke was if she was already secure in the love he had for her. Knowing that she was loved was the prime task of all his actions and if she was confident in that love then those times when she proves herself as one among the "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" he could give out as much as he needed. Love was the only context to be told you were deviant that would allow discipline to reap its rewards. The good news had to be first.

Kevin pondered how in his desire to be known as our parent had God not suggested that he, Kevin, look at his relationship with his child to be able to get some sense of God’s relationship with him. So would God not realise too that love is the transformer and not the constant reminder of our fallen nature or depravity. Being told you‘re bad would never make you good. Being told you are loved in your badness just might. Like in the beauty and the beast, the beast gets beautiful when he knows he is loved in his ugliness and I bet you she didn’t go on and on about his looks before loving him!!!!!!

Back